From Rowan's diary
We recently decided to update the plumbing and appliances in this house. We have enough free time to do this kind of reparations anyway, and this will surely help us save a lot of water, electricity and money. And I don't mind spending my time like this either. I still remember a lot of what I learnt to do as a teen in Sulani, and it's also a nice distraction overall.
Gaia: Hey, what are you up to, dad?
Rowan: I'm changing the power supply on the PC, this way it should consume less power this way.
Gaia: Oh, cool! I can watch you?
Rowan: Yes, sure.
Gaia: It doesn't seem difficult to me. Can I try, can I?
Rowan: If you do something wrong you risk getting an electric shock, I don't think it would be wise.
Gaia: Ugh, but I don't want to break it!
Rowan: Maybe when you're older, be patient...
In response, Gaia just pouted and left the room, from what I could hear from then on I think she went to play with Nacho.
It's not the first time she's tried to convince me to give her a screwdriver, but I think she's still too young to use it without risking injury. But if she continues to show an interest in this stuff maybe I could also teach her something in the future, why not.
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In all of this, Juno is instead busy with her new job as never before. She and her colleagues found a place they could rent to start their teleport devices store in Sim City, and she is now determined to convince Francis to collaborate with their project.
Juno: Objectively, this would be a really good location, and then you wouldn't have any competition, there are no other shops like this in the whole city!
Francis: But it's still a big risk, how can you be so sure that humans will actually be willing to try to teleport, let alone buy a device? I've heard that a lot of them don't trust this kind of "experimental and untested technology", as if they're afraid of ending up split in two or some other stupid thing like that.
Juno: Here people love new things, all it takes is the right advertisement. Right, Logan?
Logan: (distracted) Uh uh...
Francis: (whispering) What's wrong with that guy? He doesn't seem very motivated!
Juno: (whispering) He's just having a bad moment, he divorced a few weeks ago... But ads are his strong point, he'll surely find some nice slogan for a place like this too.
Francis: (whispering) I see...
Juno: Now, over there there is plenty of space, we were thinking of using it to expose a...
Juno talks to me about what she did during her days practically every evening. She says that sometimes it's a real struggle to work with those two, as the past personal issues make it difficult to be objective and professional.
But all three are business savvy, and they know how to recognise a profitable project when they are proposed one. The project they are now finalising is convincing enough to make them all remain, at this point I don't see how any of them could decide to back off.
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A few weeks later
My last note was definitively right, Juno and her colleagues signed the renting contract for that store a few days ago and are now filling it with teleport devices and other machinery coming directly from New Sixam, with the participation of Francis in the project.
Gaia: What are you doing, mom?
Juno: I'm testing this matter recomposer.
Gaia: It looks so cool! Can I try it too, can I?
Some days Juno has so much to do at work that she stays away from home for much more than the regular eight hours, so she asked me and Gaia to join her at their new store when we like. Gaia is always happy about it, especially when she has a chance to see all the technological oddities around that place.
Juno: Why not, it's actually quite easy. But first...
Gaia: (bored) I know, I know, I have to finish my homework first. How boring...
It's a transition period, Juno is understandably betting her time and resources on this new work project and it's difficult to predict what will happen in the future. But we are giving our all to try to maintain a semblance of balance even in a situation like this, let's say that the last few years taught us one thing or two.
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Juno: (from inside the house) C'mon Gaia, it's time to go to school!
Gaia: Five more minutes, please!
Juno: We're late already, and you know it too!
Gaia: Ugh!
Juno: The weather is very nice this morning, I'm sure that the ride to school will be fun!
Gaia: (annoyed) Uh uh...
So the weeks go by, Gaia continues to dislike spending so much time in school and Juno to work hard in her new store.
And it's not like I can afford to take it easy either. But some days, opening my work email, I can't help but feel quite discouraged. By now several files are accumulating on my desk: a lot of cases of property disputes, complaints of damage or theft, I also recently received a folder of a discouraging thickness concerning a dispute between three heirs over their mother's inheritance.
This is definitely not what I had in mind when I decided to study law, when I enrolled in college. Of all these trials I don't even care who comes out victorious and who loses, all these procedures are just like trivial childish bickering to me. Basically, at this point, I'm only continuing to do this to bring home a paycheck.
But what could I do? I certainly can't give up my job, especially not now that Juno's career is so uncertain.
I shook my head to remove these useless thoughts, by being distracted I would only waste even more time and finish what I was trying to do even later than planned.
Gaia: Hi! Why do you look sad?
Rowan: (surprised) Oh, hi. Is school over already?
Gaia: Yes, it's half past three, you know?
Rowan: Oh.
Gaia: If you're not sad, are you sick then?
Rowan: No, don't worry. It's just that what I have to do for work today is very boring.
Gaia: As boring as homework? Why don't you leave it alone and let's go play basketball instead? C'mon, it'll be fun!
For a moment I was almost tempted to accept, by now that job was a repetitive series of boring paperwork I had no chance to finish before dinner time anyway. However, I also had to set a good example for her.
Rowan: Speaking of homework, why don't we both make an effort to finish our homework, and then go play later?
Gaia: (sullenly) C'mon, you're so boring!
A couple of hours later
Rowan: You're improving a lot!
Gaia: it's not difficult! And now watch this, here it comes!
Juno: Hey, hi! That's where you were then!
Gaia: Hi mom, you arrived early today!
Juno: (joking) It's almost time for dinner already, maybe you were late instead!
I checked the time on my phone, then winced when I realized how late it was. It was my turn to prepare dinner and I hadn't even taken anything out of the freezer yet, I was frighteningly late. It wasn't like me to forget about chores like that, was I really that absent-minded today?
Juno, however, didn't seem at all worried about dinner, because she simply asked us:
Juno: There's a kiosk just around the corner, why don't we go there for dinner?
Gaia: Yeah, spicy food!
Rowan: …
Gaia: It buuurns!
Rowan: With Indian food sometimes it's hard to avoid it… But do you at least like it?
Gaia: Yes, it's much better than the school canteen, and even better than the soup we had the other night!
Juno: Still, if it's too spicy we can try from some other kiosk, for example...
Gaia: I can finish this, it's easy, I don't want something else!
Juno: (hugging Gaia) Rather, how was your day?
Gaia: Today we had that trip to the zoo, the animals were huge! The school bus dropped me right in front of home, and then dad and I did our homework together.
Juno: Oh, so did he help you with maths?
Gaia: No no, he also had his homework to do on the computer, he didn't seem very happy either. But he told me that when we finished our homework we could both play basketball, so...
At that point Juno gave me a questioning look, by now she had guessed something. The fact that I hadn't said much for the whole dinner probably was a bit suspicious to her too, now that I think about it.
Juno: It's getting late and there's school tomorrow, shall we go home?
Gaia: Ooooookay!
It was time to talk about it face to face, we both knew it.
Juno: Is everything okay? Something happened with your work, are you too busy again?
Rowan: No. Actually, to be honest, I accomplished little or nothing today.
Juno: But something must have happened, I recognize that face by now.
Rowan: …
We had many opportunities to learn how important it was to talk to each other about our problems before they spiralled out of control. Yet I hesitated, it wasn't easy to just try to explain it to her. I was afraid that saying those words out loud might have made them more real, as if afterwards it would no longer be possible to pretend that everything was fine. But at that point it was probably too late already to keep that thought to myself, and I reluctantly started to say:
Rowan: … Do you remember when we were in college, and we were talking about what we wanted to be when we grew up?
Juno: Yes, of course, you...
She couldn't finish the sentence, that prompt must have been enough for her to understand the point. I had spent years bragging to everyone that when I grew up I would work as a lawyer, or even as a judge, in trials on environmental issues, and that I would condemn those who polluted and damaged nature. I wanted to be the one making the difference, but then the only decent job offer I had received was from that mediocre law firm.
Rowan: … I was convinced I could do much more than what I've actually achieved. This job has been frustrating from the very beginning, but I thought I would get my chance sooner or later. But time passes, I've been working for that law firm for almost fifteen years now, and nothing has changed at all.
It really hits hard, it's as if reality wanted to tell me that I'm not as good at my job as I thought I was. I don't see how this could change, either, nor do I see what Juno could do with this information. I'm stuck with this job, that's it.
Juno: … I should have thought about this earlier, I'm sorry.
Rowan: (resigned) I don't think it matters much anyway. I can't give up my job, especially not now that—
Juno: This doesn't make it any less unfair! And that's not okay to me either, I don't want you to give up!
Rowan: But—
Juno: There is certainly a better solution than this one. I mean, I can't think of anything right now, but... But I'm sure we'll think of something!
Saying this, he hugged me tightly, as he usually does to console people.
Honestly, this time I really don't know how we could overcome this obstacle. I'm no longer as naive as I was a few years ago, I don't hope anymore that the right opportunity will come out of nowhere, and it's also very clear to me how my salary is fundamental for our family. Lately I've been keeping an eye on job offers hoping that a position that I like would open up, but as time passes the more I realize that the world of law is very different from what I had imagined when I chose this career path.
Maybe I should just give up, or focus on our family. But work has always been important to me, can I really do it? Dear diary, I'm really unsure this time, what should I do?
Hmmm, I wonder if becoming a tech wiz is where Gaia's eventual adult interests and personal storyline is going...Would be interesting to see her become a technician on Sixamian tech or something like that, maybe working alongside humans to help develop their tech, but the issue being whether their own tech could be used against them if she does ... anyway speculation over XD
ReplyDeleteGaia's work ethic is about as lacking as mine is, haha. The new tech store looks cool! Even if Rowan doesn't feel like he's gotten to where he wants to be, he's still done very well for himself, owns a house, can afford private school and is working as a lawyer even if it's not making the difference he hopes to make. Plus he's still got the rest of his life ahead of him yet.
And thanks for this comment too!
DeleteWe'll see quite soon if your prediction is right or not... For now, however, Gaia is still very far from that kind of adult mindset XD
The new store was from the gallery instead (I don't remember at all where I took it though...), and then filled with sci-fi objects XD
Rowan now is focusing a lot on the negative aspects of the situation (i.e. what he didn't manage to do), but he would have a lot of positive points to look up to, yup. Above all, I would say that this is where Rowan realises that the old idea he had of himself back in the days (the one of when he arrived in college thinking to be the best and planning to save the world) is clearly false, it will probably take a while for him to find another identity after this. And it remains to be seen where this will lead him to...