Maki: Wait, don't tell me that the person he painted is...
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From Sirio's diary
Like it or not I had spent that last week worrying about Maki, I realized all too well how difficult the choices she was making at that stage in her life were. And, in hindsight, I couldn't help but think that I had exaggerated with what I said to her the last time we met… What if my words, instead of prodding her a little, had made her feel worse instead?
Often I'm told that I worry too much about others, but I just can't help it…
After such a week, I was totally astonished when Maki wrote to me to say that she wanted to meet again to clear things up. Needless to say, I accepted on the fly to meet her at the park.
Sirio: (cautious) Hello, Maki.
Maki: Hi, Simo— Sirio. Bah, he guesses it will take me a while to get used to it, and also to the blue face, definitely…
At first glance, she still looked like the usual determined Maki. That time, however, her determination didn't seem to be a mere mask, as I perceived it many times in the past, but it was also reflected in what she felt. Whatever has happened in that week, she seemed to have far fewer doubts than before.
Maki: You really are a pretty weird guy... I don't say that because you're a, ehm... sixamian. That's how you say it, right?
Sirio: (nods)
Maki: Honestly, at first, when you told me that you are capable of sensing what other people are feeling I didn't believe you, it seems such an impossible thing!
Sirio: …
Maki: But then I ended again in front of that painting that I asked you to paint at the gallery… I understood that it's me in that painting, you know? And I also have the impression that you had already put into it everything you told me in words the last week, about my fears and all the rest…
Sirio: I really didn't want to be so abrupt that time, I—
Maki: There's no need to apologize for every little thing. Even if, admittedly, you were the first to have the gall to say all those things right to my face.
Sirio: …
Maki: Anyway, Sirio, at this point I'm pretty sure you've already figured out a lot about our family by yourself. Do you actually know what happened, however?
Sirio: No, actually not.
No, I didn't know much about it precisely because she had never wanted to tell me about it. But her attitude at that time was completely different. She wanted to vent, to share her story. And, maybe, also to find some understanding.
Maki: Well, it's a rather trivial story actually… Hotaru was my boyfriend back in high school, at the time he was working part-time at his brother's tattoo studio. He considered himself a bit of a rebel artist, and half the school had a crush on him. Of course I wasn't an exception, either, and when we started dating I felt like the luckiest girl in Sim City.
Sirio: …
She was saying those words with absolute nonchalance, but I distinctly felt that it was very difficult for her to retrace this story, her story. But she seemed determined to go through with it, and I had no intention of interrupting her.
Maki: After graduating, we had a lot of projects. We wanted to go to Sulani and open our own tattoo parlour over there, what a silly idea was it? But then I got pregnant with Lily, and we had to change our plans from one day to the other...
Maki: We decided to get married shortly after, in a hurry. We organized the ceremony here in this park, it seemed like the perfect day. I had a great dress, there wasn't a single cloud in the sky, and all our friends and relatives were telling us that it was probably a bit too soon to start a family, but that getting married was definitively the right thing to do. It seemed like nothing could go wrong, isn't it?
Sirio: (nods)
Maki: And, at first, everything went fine. Neither of us had a good job, and making ends meet was quite a challenge, but we always managed to find a way. But then, out of the blue, Hotaru inherited a company from one of his uncles, and a lot of money as well. Sounded like just what we needed, right?
Sirio: …
Maki: (embittered) And this is instead when Hotaru has begun to show a completely different face, it all began when he became rich and started running that company. In no time he was only thinking about money, and he kept yelling about his subordinates who, according to him, were totally incompetent in their job. And when yelling at his colleagues wasn't enough for him anymore, he started insulting Lily and me too for every little thing, he had become completely unrecognizable... After a year, then... Well, let's say he really crossed the line, and I finally managed to tell everything I thought about him to his face. However, he just yelled louder in response, at which point I decided to file for divorce and take Lily as far away from him as possible. Lily is still always asking about him... But probably it was the right thing to do.
The further the story progressed, the clearer her sense of regret was. Deep down she was a romantic person, at first she really believed in marriage and living happily ever after by the side of your loved person. But, after everything that had happened to her, the bitter and disillusioned side of her had taken over, as if all those things she had believed in were nothing more than children's fairy tales.
Sirio: … Thanks for telling me about it, really. I know it wasn't easy.
Maki: I told you, you're quite a weird person… But I don't mean it in a bad sense. I really think I can trust you, Simo— Sirio. Bah, I told you, it will take a while to get used to it.
Listening to that story was very hard, but I'm glad she entrusted me with all those memories bothering her.
I was afraid that the argument we had could drive us apart, but it looks more like that, eventually, the opposite had happened instead.
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After that conversation, we started to hang out together quite often. We often met at the art gallery, Maki's main job was to review all the new paintings exhibited there and write posts for her art blog, and she often asked me for my opinion as well.
And she also took the chance to show me a bit around the gigantic city that is Sim City. There are still so many things I don't know here, and Maki seems determined to get me settled in as quickly as possible.
Maki: It's harder than it looks, I'm dropping giant drops all over the place!
Sirio: This is just the background, I don't think anyone will notice.
Sirio: A little more blue, and then...
Maki: AH, paint in the eyes, paint in the eyes!
Sirio: (worried) Really? Are you fine?
Maki: I think so...
It's on these instances, when we happen to joke around like kids, that I remember that she's actually younger than me by a couple of years. She already has so many responsibilities and worries, but sometimes I have the impression that she may have missed being able to have fun, carefreely, just like most of our peers have been able to do so far.
Maki: Well, I'd say that as a graffiti artist I'm really terrible... Rather, moving on to serious things, I started writing the post about the painting you made at the gallery. Would you like to answer some points?
Sirio: Sure, no problem.
Maki: When you painted it, you said that “that's how I see people”. At first I thought you said it just to sound enigmatic, but I still didn't know you were a sixamian and all. Anyway, now I wonder... Were you saying that literally? Do you really see all those colours?
Sirio: Well… It's a bit complicated to explain, maybe… But if I focus a bit I see like a halo around people, which has a different colour depending on what they feel, that swirls around them and so on. It's still quite a challenge to reproduce it on a canvas, but it's quite close, yes.
Maki: (thoughtful) … That's crazy. Artists have been trying for centuries to put emotions in their works… But I'm pretty sure you're the first who is actually able to see them!
Maki has really chosen the perfect job for her. She has a really outstanding perception of the profound meaning of works of art, as if she really was able to identify with the author when in front of a painting. I suspect she understood most of the things she knows about me in this way as well.
Maki: Also, I wanted to ask you if you got that dish from the stall behind here?
Sirio: Yes, why?
Maki: Well, their curry is in a bit…
Sirio: Ah, it burns!
Maki: (laughing) …spicy.
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Dear diary, the more time passes the more I have to admit my insecurity regarding this situation. I think it's been clear for several pages now that I have a truly epic crush on Maki. She struck me from the moment I met her, she is so determined, courageous, and passionate about art.
And I think she's starting to have feelings for me too. Something serious, I mean. The more time passes, the more clearly I perceive it in her, that sweet pink shade around her every time we are together. Yet the shades of doubt are always there too, condensating in particularly clear patterns whenever she feels like the situation is getting too serious.
I know it, she knows it, yet neither of us does anything. I understand that she needs time before she feels ready for a new relationship. If she ever will be. But how long can this limbo continue?
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A few months later…
Sirio: This place is much more elegant than I expected…
Maki: It's my favourite fish restaurant, they make the best sushi in Sim City!
After those first few months in Sim City, life was getting easier. I began to understand how to move around the place more easily, I had painted quite a few new paintings and, thanks to Maki's reviews, I had even managed to sell a couple.
Things seemed to be going better for her too. Lily had finally started sleeping through the night (well, for most days), Hotaru hadn't tried to talk with her for a long time and hadn't managed to sue Techna either. In addition, she had also been entrusted with the organization of a new exhibition, and that was what we were celebrating that night.
Sirio: Congratulations again on the new exhibition!
Maki: I plan to bring at least three of your paintings, they may fit in the first-floor wing. But I have to find some impactful names that attract the attention of visitors first... How about "synesthetic art, the emotion that becomes colour"?
Sirio: "Synesthetic" is really a big word... Isn't it an exaggeration?
Maki: Critics love big words, it will definitely draw some attention.
We chatted quite a bit that evening, there was a great atmosphere.
Maki: What, the tattoo on my back? Well, it's less fancy than you may think, it simply represents the solar system. It's the first tattoo I've had done, I've always liked looking at the sky and the stars.
Sirio: Oh. As a child I often did it too, my mom used to work as an astronaut and she had stories to tell for almost all the stars that could be pointed out from our house. Toq, I mean my dad, was a great expert on the stars that can be seen in the Sixam sky, instead.
Maki: Cool! Is the sky very different in there?
Sirio: It's usually a lot more…um…dark up in there. But it also means that the stars are usually very visible, even during the day.
Maki: Really?
The end of the dinner came all too quickly, I didn't want to leave yet, nor did she. That's probably why she decided to ask me, a bit hesitantly:
Maki: In the middle of the city probably there isn't much to see… But would you like to stargaze for a bit together before we leave?
Maki: Uhm, it's more cloudy than I expected… I guess it's not really the best evening to see any star.
Sirio: The view is still beautiful.
Maki: True.
She hesitated for a second more, before adding:
Maki: Sirio… I don't know why you decided to waste so much of your time after a messy person like me… But I wanted to thank you, being with you really made me feel better during these months.
Maki: You're really glowing a lot, you know? Is this how you see emotions in others?
Sirio: … yes.
Maki: It's beautiful.
If she see the colours I could see around her at that moment I don't think she would have been so impressed by that little glow. It was like a swirl of colour framing her timid smile, so beautiful I just couldn't take my eyes off her.
Sirio: … Are you sure?
Maki: (nods)
It wasn't just her words, everything around her confirmed it.
Since when we met there had always been an aura of doubt and fear mixed with the other colours, but in that instant I couldn't spot any trace of it anymore. She had decided what she wanted to do, and certainly I wasn't going to step back at that point.
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§HermioneSims§ corner
This is another of those chapters where I really feel like I had to cover a very large time span and events all at once (i.e. to rush the story). But the legacy time constraints are really tight, I couldn't waste any more time on this phase, so here we are.
Also, writing this chapter caused me some worrisomely high glycemic levels, and required some serious cheesy songs as inspirational background.
If you're wondering what cheesy music we Italians were listening to 15 years ago or so, when I was a teen, here you are:
This is so sweet! I'm glad Maki came around and Sirio showing his emotions by glowing at the end is perfect.
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