Chapter 8.10: Don't give anything for granted

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From Rowan's diary

Juno: Are your parents really sure they want to leave their cat to us?

Rowan: So it seems. I mean, their explanation was a bit weird, they say that somehow Nacho never seems to age, he's been living with mom since when she moved to Sulani. So they say that it's better for him to live with younger and more active people.

Juno: (trying to do the math) Wait, you mean that he's already...

Rowan: About thirty years old, at least. Mom doesn't really know how old he was when she found him, you know. According to her, the spirits of the island were also involved, or something like that, but honestly this seems like nonsense to me.

Juno: (perplexed) That's weird, for sure... But I'm not complaining, this big cat is so cute!

Surprisingly, Nacho wasn't really bothered by the situation. Moving from Sulani to an apartment in Sim City didn't seem a big deal to him, from the moment he reached the top of the fridge he immediately appeared satisfied with the new housing arrangement. 

Some people say that cats dislike change, but right now I'm really thinking he may be more adaptable than I am. Or maybe I was just thinking it because I was tired, we had to move heavy boxes for days to bring all our stuff to this apartment.

I can't say it's a great place, we are on the fourth floor of an old building without an elevator where the concept of "acoustic insulation" was never applied, it's very hard to ignore the noise of the cars outside even when the windows are closed. Finding affordable housing in this city is a nightmare though, and we know we were already lucky to find this place.

Also, we apparently moved here in the middle of the monsoon season. Or, at least, the incessant heavy rain of this week really reminded me of the monsoons that usually hit Sulani in autumn.

During those first rainy days, I and Juno often ended up watching movies on an old TV. I'm not at all used to watching TV, and even less so to watching anything different from the TV news, and I must admit that most movies leave me quite indifferent. But it's also true that there isn't much else to do here, in particular not when it's raining like this.

Juno: Wow, how scary!

Rowan: …

Juno: I saw you, this time you were scared too!

Rowan: Maybe it caught me a little by surprise, but— 

Juno: I know how to make you confess!

Juno: Too much?

Rowan: N-no, it's okay.

Juno seems very playful instead. Or, at least, I think she's playing when she behaves that way. What's for sure, however, is that she was making it quite hard for me to ignore how close she was.

We need to talk about this. Probably. But it's not like I know where to start.

So, instead, I ended up saying:

Rowan: Tomorrow I plan to go to Sulani to see my family, as long as it rains like this I see no reason to stay here in Sim City all weekend.

Juno: It doesn't seem like a bad idea.

Rowan: Do you want to come too?

Juno: Are you sure your family will be fine if you bring a friend?

Rowan: Absolutely, there is certainly no shortage of space in there. And then everyone always asks me how you're doing, I'm sure they will be happy to see you in person.

Juno at that point let out a small happy dance. Every now and then she still talks about the first time she came to us in Sulani like a child would talk about the amusement park, so I'm not surprised at all. The other time we went in winter and cloudy day, but I'm sure that in summer it will be even better.

Alba: (jokingly) You moved out a few days ago, and here you are again!

Rowan: It's the weekend, we're not working today, and then in Sim City it's been pouring down rain for days, it seems like the monsoon season over there.

Alba: Lily always says it too, in Sim City it often rains a lot for weeks on end... Rather, have you already met her? She shouldn't live too far from you now.

Rowan: Not yet, but I plan to do it soon, don't worry.

Iris: (clearing up her throat) Um um, not to interrupt, but what are we waiting for here, indoors?

River: (jokingly) True, you promised us an epic day at the beach!

Needless to say, the first to run to the beach in a bathing suit was Juno, she just couldn't wait any longer. 

Juno: It's so beautiful! It seems impossible that anyone could actually live in such a beautiful place!

I was about to reach her, but my cousins stopped me before I could move a single step. Iris in particular worried me, she has the bad habit of saying way too much.

Iris: Hey Rowan, what are you up to?

Rowan: (confused) What do you mean?

Iris: C'mon, isn't it obvious? You keep bringing that girl with you, aunt Alba also told us that now you live together in Sim City, everyone would understand that you're a couple!

Rowan: (Blushing) I don't know what made you think otherwise, but we're friends who live together. That's all.

I'd liked to sound more convincing, I really did. I mean, I and Juno talked seriously about our relationship only once, and that time she clearly asked me to "please let's remain friends" and solemnly swore to "never try to kiss me ever again", I was clearly overthinking about those few hugs in the last couple of weeks. For sure, Juno was just being very friendly, and Iris was reading too much in the situation.

Iris: Everyone has noticed how she looks at you, don't tell me that the only one who hasn't noticed yet is you! How long do you think she can wait before finding someone else, huh?

Rowan: Um?

River: C'mon, Iris, of course they know better than us, right?

Iris: (upset) Well, if my suggestions aren't appreciated, I'm going for a swim then...

This said, she left to join the others in the water. 

River: I'm pretty sure Iris won't apologize for that, so... Sorry, you know she really talks too much sometimes.

Rowan: ...

Yes, she's quite good at talking too much, and at putting silly doubts in the heads of others too.

River: Don't tell me you're worried about what she said?

Rowan: Ahm, actually... 

No, that wasn't something I could ask my cousin. If there is someone I should talk with about this, that's Juno. 

Rowan: No, I'm fine. 

River: Okay. Let's join the others then, this will probably be our last real vacation day here this season, we can't waste it!

When I realised that Juno had been talking with my parents for all that time, I couldn't help but worry again. They weren't talking about embarrassing stories about me as a kid, right?

To distract them, I proposed moving to the central square of Ohan'ali, the one where the seasonal festivals are held, to look for something typical to eat. It was almost lunchtime, anyway.

Rowan: Oh, so you were talking about the coral reef?

Juno: (worried) Yes! I read online that, in the last few months, the sea temperature of many atolls has been way above the seasonal average, and they told me that along the coasts here it was just the same. A lot of coral and fishes died because the water was just too hot for them, did you know about it?

Rowan: Of course I did, the last time I came here everyone was talking about it. It's very bad news, all the locals are very worried.

Still chatting about the local news, we started to roast some vegetables on the fire, following the old recipes of the archipelago. 

Cooking was fine, it gave me a lot of time to think. How could I start a conversation with her on this topic? "Hey, Juno, I wanted to ask you if..." No, that's too silly, surely I could find something better. But what?

That recipe took hours to cook, but by the time we sat to eat I still hadn't prepared anything to say. It was frustrating, that's what.

Iris: Why did you only cook vegetables? I prefer this dish with chicken!

Juno turned slightly pale just at the mention of roasted meat. She is vegetarian because she knows about the environmental impact of intensive farming, but also because she feels incredibly sorry for all those poor animals that ended up in the pan. Ultimately, she would never have been able to eat any meat.

So, to try to stop Iris before she started ranting again about the fantastic taste of chicken roasted following the ancient local recipes, I quickly clarified:

Rowan: Juno is a vegetarian, that's why.

Iris: (taken aback) Oh. Well... sorry, then.

River: Rather, are you enjoying the archipelago, Juno?

Juno: A lot, it's such an incredible place! I totally see why your parents came to live here, Rowan, it's so different from New Sixam!

Iris: And you've yet to see the sunset, it's almost the right time! Before returning home you should stop by Mua Pel'am to see it better, there is always a beautiful view down there!

Juno: Mua Pel'am, I've already heard of it somewhere... Wait, is it the place where the turtles' nests are?

Rowan: Technically yes, but the season is over already. At most, we might find some empty shells.

Iris: Turtles or not, it's a very pretty place to visit, with all the waterfalls, the volcano, and...

I tried to avoid it because that day had been exhausting enough for me already, but my protests were evidently not convincing enough. So, shortly after, we ended up visiting Mua Pel'am.

Juno: Wow, this island is so beautiful! Is the mountain back there really an active volcano?

Rowan: (distracted) ...

I don't know what Iris was thinking to go to such lengths to convince us to come here. I almost expected her to pop out from behind a palm tree to prank us, she wouldn't say something like that if it wasn't part of some plan. What else could she have been thinking, though? I really can't figure it out.

Juno: (worried) Hey, Rowan, are you okay?

Rowan: What?

Juno: You've been quite absent-minded today, is everything okay?

Rowan: … I'm just quite tired, it's been a long day.

Juno: Well, if we take into account the time zone, we've actually been awake for quite a while... I'm a bit sorry to say it, but probably we should return back home.

Rowan: (nods)

So we stayed a couple more minutes to watch the Sun disappear behind the horizon, the volcano and the waterfall, before teleporting back to the Sim City apartment.

I had been mulling over it for days now, but I wasn't able to find a definitive answer. Romance seems so easy to interpret to everyone else, while to me it continues to seem elusive and incomprehensible. 

Juno: Are you sure you're all right? You're really silent, tonight.

Rowan: ...

Where could I start from?

What I couldn't deny was that for Juno I felt a closeness, not to say an intimacy, that was completely new to me. I mean, dear diary, until not long ago I would never have wanted to cuddle on a sofa with anyone like this, right? And I didn't even imagine that, at certain moments, being close to her I could feel myself blushing like I had never done with any other person. Day after day, it was becoming harder not to question what I used to take for granted, and keeping telling myself she was purely a friend to me.

Was she just being friendly, instead? That was what she had been saying all the time, that we're friends, after all.

Juno: (worried) Rowan? 

Rowan: W-what does this hug mean to you?

Juno: (moving away) I'm sorry, was it too much? I didn't want to make you more uncomfortable, I swear!

Rowan: No, don't worry, I didn't mean that! (Hesitating) Actually, I mean... It's quite the opposite.

Juno: Um? 

Juno: Wait, I took for granted you weren't really into this stuff!
Rowan: Actually, the reason why I didn't say anything before is because you keep saying we're just friends!

Juno: W-what? But...

Well, at least I wasn't the only one blushing anymore.

That was the messiest, most confusing and at the same time memorable conversation I ever had. I don't even remember all we said, but only that we ascertained that what was in our minds was way more similar than anticipated.

Juno: So... you were saying you'd like a hug, weren't you?

Well, I didn't really know what to expect, but it escalated quickly.

I think it will take a while before we can really figure this out, inevitably a lot will change. I'm really afraid to mess this up, I don't even know what to expect... But, if there is a person who can understand me, that's Juno. We can work it out. I think.

Next chapter -->

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§HermioneSims§ corner

Chapters like this always take ages to prepare, in particular when the protagonist is Rowan! 

Anyway, in my thoughts corner I posted a few chapters ago, I said that soon I would give more details about the way Rowan's unflirty trait affects him. If you played sims with this trait you probably know already that, once the romance bar is brought up with compliments and such, the sim stops having negative moodlets from romantic interactions, and can (rarely) even turn flirty! Well, that's more or less the level Rowan reached around this part of the story. Thus, here we are.

In real-life terms, in the same thoughts corner I mentioned earlier, I also wrote that Rowan was probably "somewhere in the asexual spectrum". Seeing the developments in this chapter, I can now be a bit more precise and say that he's somewhere close to the labels of demi-sexual/romantic or grey-sexual/romantic. So that I never show everything concerning my sims relationships, I don't think that being more precise would really be useful story-wise.

Also, I want to specify that these labels only explain why Rowan didn't have crushes before, or why he started to like Juno in that way only after such a long time. Most of the drama and misunderstandings we saw up to now, instead, were mostly caused by his (not) understanding of relationships and emotions in general.

I have a lot to keep in mind when writing from Rowan's POV, that's for sure...