Content warning: Considering the ending of the previous chapter, this one cannot start if not with Cassy wondering about her unexpected condition and what to do now. Knowing where her reasoning is going, I have to signal a warning for the mention of abortion. If this is a trigger for you, I recommend you jump down to the second section, the one with Venus and Steve chatting on the sofa.
Also, I want to point out that her reasoning is by no means meant to discredit the opposite choice, but it is just a report of what she personally passed through.
From Cassy's diary
Misty: Cassy, are you all right?
Cassy: Let's say I could be doing better...
Misty: Stay strong, darling, these are the moments in which you have to bring out the strength of character!
Cassy: ...Um.
Mom looked astonished for a few minutes when I told her the whole story, but then she immediately pulled off her usual energy and practical attitude. She's always been very strong and I'm not sure she fully realises not everyone else is able to react to adversities with her same determination. To be honest, all I think to be able to do now is to feel sorry for myself.
At this moment I feel stupid and naive just like an irresponsible teen, until a few months ago I didn't even imagine being able to be so careless. Neither Toq nor I thought we'd risk a pregnancy, after all those of his generation of sixamians abducted humans precisely because they couldn't have children in any other way, isn't it what everyone says? Yet, clearly, the information we had was wrong.
But, in hindsight, I'm also starting to think that this wasn't even the worst mistake I made: I had trusted Toq way too quickly, even though I still knew so little about him.
And at this point I also feel guilty for the baby, would I be able to raise him alone? Will he be fine without a normal family?
In the first few weeks, I actually spent a lot of time wondering whether I wanted to keep this baby or not. I'd never thought seriously about becoming a mother before, parenthood seemed such a far-away possibility among many others back then. Also, the disappearance of Toq didn't make the situation particularly favourable.
However, on the other hand, I knew it would not have been impossible either. Whatever I had chosen to do my family would have supported me, and I have a safe house where to live and a good job to sustain us. What to do, what to do, this is what I was wondering about.
I've tried to evaluate the pros and cons for days, without managing to find any definitive answer.
Thus, so that I couldn't exclude either option with rationality alone, for once I decided to follow my instinct. It's my choice, I have to do what I feel is right for me. Basically, it was a gut choice, if I have to describe it.
And so in the end I decided to continue the pregnancy. I know that it will not be easy and that our family will become even weirder by doing so, but I feel like we will manage to handle this. All considered it felt like the right thing to do, for me.
Misty: Do you plan to continue working as an astronaut?
Cassy: Yes. In any case, lately I was already working mainly at the offices, we have little fuel and so we have to limit space travels to a minimum.
Misty: Oh, how boring!
Cassy: Yes, a lot!
At the beginning, when I found out I was pregnant and Toq dumped me, part of me felt like I had been left alone. But my family quickly reminded me that this was not the case at all.
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From Venus's diary
The situation has been so chaotic in the last few weeks, forcing everyone to change their plans...
Steve: Well, the house is finally finished. We can finally move for real!
Venus: Yes, that's right. However...
Steve: What are you thinking about?
Venus: I was thinking about Cassy... I mean, she's not in a good situation, and soon she will also have a baby to look after! Mom will be here too, but considering her age she should be resting a bit more as well... Do you really feel like abandoning them to deal with this alone?
Steve: I was kind of expecting a speech like this, you know?
Venus: And what do you think?
Steve: I'm a little sorry about the house, it was really beautiful... But you're right, we can't leave them right now!
It may seem like a weird choice, but in the end Cassy, Steve and I have spent enough time together back in college to become a very close team. Our family will probably get even less conventional by doing this, but we don't really care about that.
Cassy: (surprised) What, are you serious?
Venus: Yes! The three of us ending up exhausted every night after working hard together, it's going to be a bit like the college years again, isn't it?
Cassy answered with a snort between exasperation and amusement, but underneath she was smiling. I'm sure she's relieved to know we're staying with her, even though she would never have asked us that very question.
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From Cassy's diary
Everyone's working hard these days, Steve has also started building some robots to help us with the house chores and in keeping the garden in order.
I don't know exactly why he decided to use a hammer to make a robot, but the machine seems to work quite well and doesn't show any evident dent on its surface.
Meanwhile, I'm trying to keep myself busy, even if by now the belly is starting to weigh a lot I still have a lot to do for preparing for the arrival of the new member of the family.
Venus: Ah, he kicked!
Cassy: Yeah, he's pretty lively.
Venus: It seems almost impossible that there is less than a month left!
Cassy: (joking) Considering the rate at which the belly grows, it's probably for the best... Otherwise I risk exploding!
Meanwhile, mom seems to be having a quite good time with her old-time friends, aunt Lyra and Mrs Serena.
It's nice to see that they still get along so well, in practice they've been friends since before the founding of New Sixam!
Instead, what worries us all is their state of health. Given their age this is to be expected I guess, but still it's so hard for us to see them experiencing new health issues day after day.
Somehow, what happened a few mornings later seemed thus inevitable...
You can never be ready to witness the departure of a loved one, but in all this situation we can only feel as if we were left without a commander. Mom always knew what to do, how are we going to do from now on?
We were all hit hard by that loss, we knew it would have taken a long time to get over it. But if there's one thing we don't really have right now, that is the time to come to terms with the awareness that we have now lost our mum too.
In those days, when Venus and Steve couldn't see me, I often had motivational talks in the mirror, trying to get the strengths I would have needed to face the following few weeks.
This was not the time to give up, this is the last thing mum would have wanted form us! And at that moment I wanted to do everything possible to become a good mother too, at least half as strong as she was for us!
And it is in this the less than ideal situation in which I had to face labour and the born of my son.
Cassy: Okay, this time it hurt very badly!
Steve: It's time to go to the hospital, isn't it?
The local hospital has implemented a new rule, I could bring only one person with me. One look was enough for Venus and Steve to decide that she should be the one to come with me. We've known each other literally since when we were born, she is hands down the closest person I have.
And this is how Sirio was born. I was right, he's really a rather lively baby. My days are so much busier since when he's born... And it's okay this way.
Venus and Steve are spending at least as much time with him as I do. Seeing them like this, intent in looking at him with little heart eyes, I'm starting to suspect that they could announce to me I will become an aunt at any moment. They would be excellent parents, I don't have any doubt about this.
And this is the current situation in the Miller house. The last year has posed tough challenges for all of us, but one at a time we're facing them all head-on. Admittedly our original plans were completely different, but slowly we are getting used to our new normality. And... sorry my dear diary, but I don't have time to write anything more for today, Sirio is calling! See you at the next entry!
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§HermioneSims§ corner:
A lot happened in the chapter, the family structure changed completely now that I think about it.
First of all, RIP Misty, we all knew she was almost as old as Luke was, but passing away so close to the moment Sirio was born was quite cruel for her and for us who are following the story.
On the happier side, be aware that now Cassy is officially considered the heir of Gen 5. Little Sirio is going to be the heir of the next generation instead.
However, I admit that I like Venus and Steve so much to make me want to keep them around for the rest of the generation :P
Finally, a note about the choice of the name for the little new Miller in town: Sirio is the Italian spelling of Sirius, I decided not to translate it because I prefer how it sounds, it's a bit less formal, and it doesn't come with the joke "Why so Sirius?"
For the moment I also haven't shown him yet. Actually this is not related to the story, but purely to a mods-related bug which made all my alien babies in-game show human skin tones until I aged them up to toddlers.
^ luckily, the issue was solved quite quickly a few weeks later.
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