From Rowan's diary
Juno: Poor statue, what happened to you? Usually, you're so beautiful!
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So also our second semester in college passed by, we had finally received our grades and were ready to start studying for the third one. We're midway through our university years already, but the courses won't surely get easier from now on (the penal law course in particular is described by everyone as a true nightmare). I really have to maintain my focus, that's it.
Juno: I couldn't believe it when I received my grades, I even got an A in statistics! Thank you very much, really! I would hug you, but after Winterfest I don't think it would be a good idea... Thanks anyway, I'm afraid I would have failed just like during the first semester if it wasn't for your encouragement. Hurray!
Rowan: (perplexed) Why are you thanking me? I haven't done much, you did all that studying on your own, in the end.
And I didn't just say that to be modest, I meant it. All things considered, all I did was to advise her to work a bit harder and help her a few times with her assignments (although I don't think she really needed it), she would have been perfectly capable of achieving that same result even if I hadn't been there.
Juno: Well, you see... Back in high school I usually did decently well without studying much, so I believed Francis when he told me that the exams here were easy to pass too. But then, when I saw my horrible grades at the end of the first semester, I really thought that Francis had overestimated what I was actually capable of, and that I probably wasn't good enough for this place, you know? Also because people usually don't really expect much from me, to be honest so many people couldn't even believe it when I entered this college. But probably I just needed a bit of encouragement instead, so... Thank you, really.
Rowan: Oh.
I remained speechless, was she serious? That couldn't be the whole story, at least her parents and her boyfriend surely supported her, right?
Luckily she decided to change topic, because I really didn't know what to say.
Juno: Rather... Are you wearing your uniform because you have to go to soccer practice?
Rowan: Yes, I've to go there in five minutes, we have to try a new tactic for the next game.
Juno: Oh, it sounds like fun! I wish you a good training, then!
I still had a lot of homework to do before the next day, but I still grabbed my training bag and ran to the soccer field, it was my duty after all. My schedule was busier than ever, but I was still completely capable of handling it all, I was sure of that.
Juno: (a bit worried) Hey, was soccer practice that hard today? It's not like you to go straight to bed this early!
Rowan: (yawning) I just need to rest my eyes a little bit, I'll get up and finish my penal law homework in a couple of hours, don't worry.
Juno: Okay, I guess...
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It's now late winter, but there's still no sign of snow. I did some research on this topic, the winter temperature of this place have risen by more than 2°C in the last century. There's not much to be surprised about, in short.
Juno: Ugh, no snow today either... I'd liked to have at least have a snowball fight while living here, everyone says snow is so much fun!
Rowan: I admit I was curious to see some snow too. If there is a less snowy climate than New Sixam, that may be Sulani.
Juno: I talked to a few people around, it seems like it's been like this for years now. It seems like another sign of climate change, unfortunately...
The more time passes, the more I realize how genuinely worried Juno is about the inexorable advance of the climate crisis. I mean, if you stop to chat with her for more than five minutes, she almost always addresses the topic in one way or another.
And she's not just talking about it, it would be obvious even to a blind person that she tries harder than anyone else in the dorm to reduce her impact on the environment.
For instance, she is an assiduous recycler, and she often chases after other students in the dorm with the recycling bins to ensure that no one forgets about the separate waste collection. And she is also a convinced vegetarian, partly because she feels sorry for the animals but also because she memorised all the statistics on the release of greenhouse gases caused by livestock farming.
Even her Winterfest present was not a coincidence, she always travels by bicycle and gave us all bike helmets to convince us to do the same.
And I would also say that she's an excellent observer, because she noticed long ago that I've never used that bike helmet she gave me as a gift.
Juno: (amused) C'mon, you really don't know how to ride a bike?
Rowan: (defensively) Sulani is not the best place for cycling…
Juno: I'm sorry, it's just that you seem like one of those super sporty guys who is good at all sports, I'm surprised you don't know how to ride a bike!
Rowan: Uhm…
Juno: But don't worry, it's not difficult at all, if you want I'll teach you! Actually, I can also lend you Francis's bike for a while, he never uses it anyway.
Rowan: But are you sure I can use this one?
Juno: Sure, don't worry!
Rowan: How am I doing?
Juno: That's not bad at all!
I wasted way too many hours to learn how to keep a decent equilibrium, it's much harder than I expected.
But she was right, it's pretty funny. And it's also a much faster way to get around campus, which will definitely save me a lot of time in the future. Don't you agree, my dear diary?
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???: Hey Miller, are you there? It's your turn to debate back!
Rowan: Oh, sorry, I must have gotten distracted for a moment. What were you talking about?
???: If you don't have time to actively participate, have the decency not to show up!
Rowan: …
I shook my head, annoyed. It wasn't at all like me to get distracted in that way, but the penal law essay that I had to hand in the next morning really didn't want to let me focus on anything else. It was a particularly difficult paper to write, full of nuances to grasp and summarise in so few pages... And then the subject was extremely boring too, why did it have to weigh so much on our final GPA?
In either case, the other members of the debate group were probably right, I was better off going back to my dorm and focusing on that assignment for the rest of the evening...
Juno: You're back early! Weren't you with the debate group tonight?
Rowan: Yes, but according to the others I was too distracted to continue. Actually, I was thinking a bit too much about this essay I have to hand in tomorrow morning, so they weren't entirely wrong. I better hurry up and finish it so I can move and work with other things.
Juno: Are you sure you aren't studying a little too much?
Rowan: I study as much as I need to, there's no need to worry about me.
Juno: If you say so... Oh well, I've finished my homework for tonight, I'm going with Francis to the pub. See you then!
Rowan: (distracted) Uh uh.
It was a particularly hard week, I don't think I slept more than a couple of hours a night. But my study schedule is getting busier than ever, with the debate group we are finally reaching the point where the discussions seem to be becoming vaguely constructive, and with the soccer team we are advancing in the tournament to the point that some coaches of the professional league might attend the matches. In short, I have so many things to do, and they're all too important to put aside.
By Friday evening I was particularly exhausted, but there was still a soccer match to think about.
Juno: I told you it would be a good match!
Francis: And we also won, that's a guaranteed party tonight!
Juno: Yup, that's right! Let's wait for the team before going to the bar though. Ah, there they are!
Rowan: Oh, hi. Did you watch the game?
Juno: Yes, you really did great!
Rowan: Maybe, I think I slipped a couple of times too many… But, honestly, I don't have time to think about it too much, I still have to finish an essay for...
Francis: C'mon, you have the whole weekend to finish your homework, and a victory like this should be celebrated!
Rowan: But —
Clearly, my teammates and the rest of the crowd of students who practically dragged me to the closest pub with them didn't really seem to care about what I had to say. As if I had time to waste like this, homework wasn't an excuse this time. I won't finish the penal law essay in time if I keep wasting so much time, I needed those hours if I wanted to catch up.
Francis: Hey, Rowan, right? Don't tell us you're leaving already, the party has just begun!
Rowan: But —
Juno: C'mon, Francis, he's not obliged to remain if he doesn't want to!
Francis: Of course he's not obliged to remain, but why would he prefer to leave? We're all having fun in here!
Juno: Okay, but...
I didn't even stay to follow how the conversation ended, just because the rest of the soccer team dragged me away to try to convince me to participate in their celebrations. Looking at them, it would almost seem like this is their favourite part about playing soccer in college.
In the end, I was stuck in that pub for three whole hours, my teammates just didn't want to let me go. How come everyone else's main aspiration seems to be to spend their Friday night getting drunk in a noisy pub? They really can't think about anything better than that mess?
I had returned to the dorm so late that also Juno arrived just a few minutes later. Yet, I was pretty sure she didn't have any more homework to do for the day, nor an essay to write, or...
Juno: Ehy Rowan, are you sure you're okay? You look exhausted!
Rowan: I'm fine, I just have to finish the essay, and then...
Juno: Ehm, yoohoo! Rowan? Oh man, maybe I should call the nurse! Or…
Rowan: (semi-unconscious) There's no need to scream, I'm fin—
It took me a few moments to realise what happened: I was so tired that I collapsed on the ground, asleep. Was I really that exhausted?
I don't remember exactly what happened after that, I think Juno helped me to reach the bed, and then I collapsed again. I still had so much to do, but clearly I needed some sleep before I could take care of it.
The next morning...
Juno: Good morning Rowan, are you feeling a bit better?
Rowan: Yes, I just needed some sleep. Thanks for the help, by the way.
Juno: Don't worry about that, it wasn't a problem. Howev—
Rowan: Now excuse me, but I have to reach the library, and then I absolutely have to finish the penal law essay and send it to the professor before lunchtime.
Juno: I don't think the teacher will complain if you take an extra day, you know? I've done it plenty of times, you should just write them an email. Also, did you at least have breakfast, since you woke up?
To answer I just shook my head, stubbornly, and grabbed my jacket to leave immediately. I was late already, the previous night I had wasted way too much time already.
Rowan: (in a hurry) Bye then!
Juno: Bye...
I had the suspicion Juno was planning something, or at least I couldn't read the weird expression she had when I left. I'm also pretty sure she started a phone call the moment I closed the door, that's quite weird too...
Juno: Hello? Yes, good morning ma'am, I'm Juno, do you remember me? ... Oh, great. I'm sorry to bother you, but —
I almost had the suspicion that she waited for me to leave before starting that call, but it seemed like such an irrelevant episode that I quickly forgot about it along the day.
I remembered about it just at the end of the day, when I met her again after the usual soccer practice. At that point, it didn't take long before I finally understood who she had called, too.
Juno: Ehy, Rowan! Do you have a moment?
Rowan: (perplexed) I've just five minutes, I still have to meet the debate group. What happens?
Juno: Well... I just want to tell you that I'm sorry for what I did, but I did it just because I was worried about you. Bye!
That said, Juno ran away faster than I thought she may have been capable of. At that point I was quite convinced it had to be some kind of joke, but then I turned in the opposite direction and finally understood what she meant.
Alba: (worried) Rowan, how are you?
Olivier: That friend of yours, Juno, was right. You look exhausted, are you getting enough sleep?
Alba: And you're eating regularly? She said you may be skipping breakfast too!
Rowan: (confused) Mom, dad, why are you here?
Alba: Your friend called us, she says you're making her worry because you're studying so much to fall asleep on the ground!
I couldn't believe it, they really teleported to Britechester without thinking twice about it. Dad doesn't even have a double passport, he could really end up in trouble if someone sees him.
Rowan: There's nothing to worry about, really. It's just a busy period, but —
Alba: (sympathetic) Rowan, we know you really care about all this stuff. But why are you pushing yourself up to this point?
Rowan: Um...
I thought carefully about how to answer, mom would spot a lie in a split second after all. However, I had never really thought about that topic before, what could I say?
Rowan: I like studying, doing sports, and also participating in the debate group. That's all.
Alba: We imagined you would answer this way, when you were a child you always said the same. But at the time you also seemed to enjoy what you were doing. Now instead you just seem exhausted, are you sure you're still happy?
Rowan: I —
Olivier: Maybe you could at least leave the soccer team, right? It sounds like a lot of work, and unless you've changed your mind recently I don't think you want to be a professional player after college, right?
Rowan: But I get a scholarship for it, without that —
Olivier: You have a lot of other scholarships, and in case we'll do our best to cover the rest. Don't worry, really.
Rowan: ...
At that point mom seemed unable to contain herself any longer, and she hugged me as tight as she could, and then said:
Alba: You're not doing this for us, right? All we care about is to ensure you're happy, really. The grades, the matches, or everything else... It's not so important to be the best at all costs, being happy with your life is way more important!
Rowan: …
I couldn't answer right away, I'd never seen it from that point of view. Since I was little I had always been the best at school and with the scouts, and even if everyone was always telling me to have fun sometimes, I couldn't ignore the proud and satisfied faces of my family every time I excelled in something new. It made me feel like it was the right thing for me to do, that's what.
However, here in college the level is completely different, studying day and night I barely manage to keep a good GPA.
Maybe they are right, studying until I forget why I'm doing it doesn't make sense. I didn't like penal law either, should I really stay up at night for it? Maybe I should focus on what I really like to do, and focus a bit less on my grades.
Rowan: Thanks, I think I understand what you mean.
My parents said goodbye to me shortly after, to avoid attracting any more attention I guess. I went straight to my dorm instead, I really needed some rest.
Juno: Sorry again, I didn't want to get your parents involved, but —
Rowan: — but I made you worry. I get it, you don't need to apologize.
Juno: Oh.
She hesitated for a few more moments, the same times it took me to lie in bed and close my eyes, before adding:
Juno: By the way, you're parents seem very cool guys, you know?
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§HermioneSims§ corner
To close the chapter, this time I'd like to add some extra details about Juno's traits. Usually I don't share too many details about my sims traits, but in her case I really tried hard to make them show in her characterization.
So, her first trait is "Good". She's the kind of person who makes presents to Father Winter and tries to console the Easter Bunny!
Her second trait instead is "Childish". Thus, it's very frequent to see her play with toys in the background and other similar things.
Her third trait was named in the middle of this chapter instead, she's vegetarian too.
Juno shines brightly in this chapter. She's sweet and she seems to have found a way to manage her schedule so that she enjoys her life, but I still worry about her a bit. It sounds like she had impostor syndrome (doubting her abilities and her deserving to be where she is even though she's perfectly capable and deserves to be at her school just like everyone else her). I wonder if her family is supportive. Rowan seems to suspect that they may not be.
ReplyDeleteAlso, poor Rowan. He got trapped in the pub and then passed out from exhaustion when he returned. :( I think being social is good, but he clearly wasn't enjoying spending his Friday night there (curious that he has a paper due on Saturday though). I'm sure he'll be able to figure it out and create a better schedule for himself. Perhaps it means studying less, but I have a hard time imagining Rowan accepting an "A-", much less a "B."
I enjoyed this chapter (I enjoy them all), but the focus on Juno in the beginning was nice because we haven't gotten to see that much from her POV.
Thanks a lot for the comment, as always!
DeleteJuno could be one of my favourite characters in this generation (as it's probably quite evident from the amount of space I'm giving her :P ) In her character I put a lot of things I see many students pass through at (in my life I spent a ton of time studying and now I still see students all the time by working at an university, so I have some statistics), messing up with the schedule in the first year happens all the time at my place. But it's not just that, she also doesn't have a very high self esteem, that's right. There will be more details at some point, about how much support she has from those close to her and so on, I promise!
This chapter instead it was mostly Rowan having a bad time, that's very clear... I would say that having been told to stay at the pub while he was already exhausted, and when he was also worrying about a difficult assignment, was probably close to the worst-case scenario for him :/ We'll see in the next few chapters how he'll manage now.
As for the assignement deadline instead, I thought it was a bit weird too, but after the game planned the final exams on Winterfest a few chapters ago I didn't worry too much about the weirdness of it.